I am a licensed clinical social worker, sex addiction therapist, and yoga instructor. I have been practicing for over 35 years. I provide a skill-based therapy style that is both nurturing and straight forward. My goal is to guide you to a stronger authentic connection with your true self (core values, purpose, and meaning), and to teach you the tools to sustain this connection. This will serve to empower you both individually and relationally. I think holistically, so I aim to educate and inspire clients to get interested in their physical health, as well as mental and spiritual health.

My life journey has presented me with personal challenges that have forced me to grow (sometimes willingly–sometimes not). I know the payoff of doing my own work. I am my first and longest client. I have learned how to transform my difficulties into becoming a deeper and more compassionate woman and therapist. I bring knowledge, training, and personal experience to overcoming issues of codependency in relationship to other’s addictions, disordered self-esteem, parenting, body image, and more.

The key is to have a safe and nurturing place to be radically honest with yourself about what you are facing. Getting guidance and support from someone who really “gets it”. Then to be able to own your personal history–in a linear, common sense way. From there, the blocks, adaptations to stress, denial, learned negative beliefs, and fears that impacted the core issue of self-esteem are identifiable and manageable. The inner shift starts to pay off. This leads to re-definition, congruence, and ability to truly self-esteem oneself. This has a positive effect that continues to spill over in all facets of my life. It is accessible to anyone if you are willing and ready to explore yourself in this deeper way. Education, support, and guidance facilitate this process.

I see my role as a therapist, educator, coach, and fellow companion in this journey. I just happen to take a leadership role in our relationship.

I come from a family with two siblings who are proudly gay and lesbian. This has bestowed the opportunity upon me to experience and celebrate the joys and sorrows of the GLBT community. This has strengthened my respect for our basic needs for tolerance and deepen my appreciation for the richness that diversity brings. I offer a special welcome to the GLBT community.

My focus is to help empower women and men in a way that is true empowerment, not old models of what Terry Real calls “psychological patriarchy,” the limited gender restraints that prevent both men and women from their full human expression. I don’t believe that there are any “cutting corners” or keeping secrets to becoming a fully developed partner and individual. It is worth the work! I want to promote more understanding and connection between both men and women. Practicing these principles is “where the rubber meets the road”. It guarantees a renewed sensual connection and cultivates core relationship values of equality, self-honesty, democracy, tolerance, cooperative spirit (“we” vs “me”), courage, compassion, and respect.

I trained with the author, Terrence Real, who wrote, I Don’t Want to Talk About It on men’s issues with depression and You Just Don’t Understand about relationship problems. Terry’s most recent book is The New Rules of Marriage. I primarily conceptualize relationship issues from Terry’s work, but not exclusively. The foundation of the couple’s work comes from Pia Mellody’s powerful and practical individual work about self-esteem disorders and boundary work. I have also trained with Pia Mellody. I draw from these concepts to first promote stronger boundaries, emotion regulation, and ultimately clear goals for what is healthy self-esteem, in order to learn what triggers you in a relationship. This is fundamental to moving into learning communication skills. You can learn “I” statements and paraphrasing, but be seething and blaming in your subconscious beliefs and tone. Hence, it is essential to do the self-esteem work first in couple’s work.

I believe that Love is fickle. In order to keep love alive, it is important to understand the delicate nature of Love in any relationship. Culturally, we are taught that once we feel a mutual attraction, that we can count on that love feeling being the glue in a committed relationship. I believe that there is truth to that, but that love isn’t enough. Love waxes and wanes in the best of relationships. First, there is love without full knowledge of each other, then inevitably there will be conflict and dissatisfaction. That is the critical time of either learning new skills (or rules) to reconnect, or we will tend to seek distractions -that create more disconnection. This is the work of couple’s therapy.

I am eclectic by nature; I pull from multidisciplines (including humanistic, addiction’s model, 12 step program, yoga, Eastern thought, coaching world, trauma work/reparenting, cognitive, rational emotive, and EMDR). Individual and couple’s model is instructional, strong on practice and coaching; therefore, the results are clearer faster. You will be able to measure and observe changes in yourself and relationship in a definable way. You will know if you are learning skills and using them daily, or not. The cognitive therapy work is blended with identifying emotional regressive states (where we get reactive, arrogant, shut down, anxious, defensive, rage -the subconscious mind). Every single person experiences these regressive states. The degree and awareness and ability to redirect our inner states is the relief we seek in healthy self-esteem.

I also work with teenage girls (ages 15 and up). I have many years experience working in outpatient and inpatient settings for youths. The teenage years are a period in a girl’s life when she is faced with numerous changes and choices. It is often a time when there can be even more withdrawal and conflict from your child. You, as the parent, may need some extra guidance and support to build your parenting confidence. I do a lot of work around family dynamics, self-esteem, disordered eating, and mood disorders. When I work with a teen, I believe that this is an opportunity and necessity for the whole family to self-reflect on what each parent and family member needs to learn and work on in response to the child being brought in. In a system’s model, each person impacts each other, therefore it is most effective if each family member is willing to explore their part in the family, and be open to trying new skills and behaviors.